Aviraj's Blog on Posterous

You can call me Avi

Filed under: Funny

I just saw Singh Is King. Haha, I don't believe myself

I'm amused and disgusted all at once. But a little more amused. I usually can't tolerate slapstick Hindi comedy, but I just had to get this weird urge out of the way. To be honest, I really didn't have this kind of movie in mind when I wrote that, but I guess I've been wearing my Punjabi genes a bit often these days. I was so into it today that I even started digging the music. Seriously, listen to it.

Heck, try calling me!

P.S. - My namesake was fun too :D

AIR INDIA IS DISGUSTING! EPIC FAIL.

READ THIS. This is a phone conversation I just had with an Air India employee (a mistake, to begin with). Mind you, I have polished her English a little bit:

"Hi, I need to book a ticket from Mumbai to Denver."
"Denver?"
"Yes. Denver, Colorado. In USA. I need one for July. Anywhere between 7th and 17th of July. Whichever is least expensive."
"Ok sir. [long pause] What date sir?"
"Any day between 7th and 17th of July."
"Is it one-way or return ticket?"
"One-way"
"Ok sir, let me look." [long hold] "Yes sir we have a flight to New York. From there to langarda (?! - that's supposed to be LaGuardia - she wants me to 'go' from NY to LaGuardia!). And from there to Denmark."
"I'm sorry, Denmark?!? You mean Denver, right?"
"Yes sir, Danvar. Sir I can only give you rough fare sir."
"What do you mean rough fare? Why rough fare? I need a specific fare."
"Sir because Air India is only till New York. After that you have to go in another flight."
"Which is the connecting airline?"
"American Airlines sir."
"Okay, I see. What's the fare?"
"Sir it's Rs. xx,xxx."
"Okay, what date is this for?"
"I put in May sir... Sir what date did you ask for?"
"What date did you search for??"
"Sir I put in May."
"Ma'am, I specifically told you July! 7th to 17th July."
"Yes sir, I put in July."
"Whaat? What are you saying?"
"Yes sir, I put in one-way for May and return in July. Sir this is rough fare sir."
"I told you I need one-way!! Madam, are you even listening to me??"
[BEEEEEEEEEP]


SHE HUNG UP! SHE HUNG UP ON ME! AFTER GIVING ME THAT CRAP! %#@^@#!#%!!!

Now that I think about it, it's good she hung up. Else I would've tracked her down and STRANGLED HER. Lame-ass shit.

Someone say you don't know Jack Shit? Now you can correct them

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.
Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they had Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

via urbandictionary.com via Aditya Sengupta


Safeway humour by Stephan Pastis -- Hahahahaha!

Yesterday, I did our weekly grocery shopping.

As the Safeway clerk handed me my receipt, she asked, “Would like to contribute money for breast cancer?”

I said, “No.  I’m against breast cancer.”

She just stared.

I think my humor is lost on Safeway grocery clerks.

via stephanpastis.wordpress.com

Reminds me of the time when Ruby Bhatia made a 'charity appearance' at our college fest. On stage she shouted out to everyone, "Hey guys! I'm back! Remember why I was here last year?" "AIDS!" said everyone in a chorus.

"Not AIDS you dummies! Anti-AIDS!" Hahaha.

Ok I admit, Stephan's way funnier :D
Posterous theme by Cory Watilo
  
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